Week 5: Red Clocks, Exit West, The Boat People

I refuse to admit defeat but this three books a week business is kicking my ass. Last week was pretty busy for me though so I’m hoping this week, which sees nothing more exciting than the crochet class I’m taking with my mother, will be more successful. I didn’t manage to finish The Power of Habit last week and while I’m surely going to continue listening to it while I complete my crochet homework, I’m going to turn my attention to three new books.

Red Clocks, Leni Zumas: I’m ever the sucker for a good cover! This book’s back cover copy asks the question, “what is a woman for?” It takes place in an future where abortion is illegal and in vitro fertilization is banned. The copy compares it to The Handmaid’s Tale which I really enjoyed so here’s hoping it has a better ending than anything Atwood herself as written (tangent: I hate Atwood’s endings. I almost always love the book but the end feels so rushed to me, as if she got bored and wanted to move on to something else. So frustrating).

Exit West, Mohsin Hamid: Fun story: I have a friend who is a very practical gift-giver. He will only get you something that you will actually use. Even if it’s totally superfluous, he’ll get it, but it has to have a function. He knows exactly how bad my book shopping addiction is and he also knows that I haven’t read even half the books I own, so when he asked what I wanted for Christmas, and I said books, he said, “hahahahaha NO.” I promised that the book would go into immediate rotation for the blog, skipping past all others, and he finally agreed. I gave him a list of a few to choose from and so I present to you, the Adam-approved selection, which will likely be the only mandatory reading on my book list. 😀

The Boat People, Sharon Bala: This book is on the Canada Reads 2018 longlist and, while I’m waiting to order the shortlist (it’s being announced tomorrow!!), I didn’t want to wait for this one. Whether it makes the shortlist or not, I’m using it to get ready for Canada Reads, which I always want to participate in but then don’t read fast enough and forget when the debates are. Anyway, this book is about a father and son who are refugees from Sri Lanka landing in British Columbia. Instead of asylum, they find themselves imprisoned as government officials suspect terrorists were aboard their ship. I chose this book as part of my desire to expand my reading selection to perspectives I have not read before.

Housekeeping: I want to start paying attention to where I hear about books. When I sit down to write, I’m like, “duuuhhhhhh…. Instagram told me too?” This might sound strange but I’m not a big browser. I don’t trust random books on the shelves or in the “you might also like this” recommendations on Indigo/Amazon. I need a trusted source to say, “Hey, here’s a 35 dollar shredded and bound tree, you should take this home.” What I’m saying is, I want to cite my sources so you know that I’ve properly vetted this recommendation and it’s not some sloppy algorithm spitting out nonsense. 🙂

More housekeeping: I finally got my social media connected here (buttons on the right side of the page) so come say hello on Twitter or Instagram! I think I’m funny there too 🙂

Review: We Are Never Meeting in Real Life, Samantha Irby

I didn’t know anything about Samantha Irby before reading this book. I knew only that I loved the cover, and a bibliophile friend said it was hilarious.

TL;DR, spoiler-free review: I laughed so often that I was compelled to read snippets to my boyfriend, who does NOT share my sense of humour. Read this book, but not on public transit if you don’t care to snicker in front of strangers.

You’re-verbose-and-I-like-it review: Samantha Irby is hilarious, vulgar, and honest. She writes about the messy details of life that we usually try to hide behind a more polished façade (like what happens when you introduce certain foods to your inflammatory bowel disease, or what you really do when you’re alone in your apartment). We Are Never Meeting in Real Life is a biography of broad strokes, giving you snapshots, but a clear picture of the writer, who, like the rest of us, is just trying to get through this big dumb world in one piece.

This is usually the point where I would want to quote the book a couple times but I feel like that will do a disservice to her humour. Either that or I would need to quote a whole paragraph and give you a 5-minute lead-in explanation. Instead, I will just leave you the pleasure of discovering her wit on your own.

I also quite enjoy her writing style, perhaps because I think it is somewhat similar to mine in that we both tend to write incredibly long sentences that occasionally need bread crumbs to make sure the reader makes it all the way through to the end. She also uses a lot of ALL-CAPS PHRASES and various punctuation to apply her intonation patterns to her writing so you really “hear” her as you read. The basic words on the page seem to have more personality in her sentences, only adding to the overall experience of the book.

Weird tangent that will totally make sense in a minute: I freaking love my cat. His name is Phoenix, he is the most beautiful boy in the world, and yes, I will take you down with extreme prejudice if you dare defy that statement. He has blue eyes, and he’s the cuddliest, friendliest, most loving little creature I’ve ever been so lucky to have to clean up shit after on a daily basis. So it was with genuine mirth that I read about Helen, a feline that lives with Samantha. I don’t say “Irby’s cat” because she makes it abundantly clear that she hates the furry beast from minute one. She ends the chapter on Helen with a sort of online ad to get rid of her and that paragraph is so funny that I’ve had to flip back and read it to the people who have the audacity to speak to me when I have a book in my hands. Irby personifies her cat the same way I do, giving a snarky and judgmental voice to Helen that makes me glad we will never know what our pets actually think about us.

This book was uproariously funny, authentic, and heartfelt. Now, please excuse me, I need to go add her other book to my shopping cart.

Review: The Unnoticeables, Robert Brockway

The first line of the back cover copy for The Unnoticeables is, “There are angels, and they are not beneficent or loving.” This premise, along with the humour of the rest of the blurb, is what made me buy this book. The first line of the actual story is, “I met my guardian angel today. She shot me in the face.” I read this and thought, yup, I’m totally in.

TL;DR, spoiler-free review: an intriguing and well-executed premise, The Unnoticeables is funny, subversive, and unique. Great pacing that never really slows down, you’ll read this book fast because you won’t be able to do anything else until it’s finished.

You’re-verbose-and-I-like-it review: I was surprised how quickly this book got its hooks into me. Usually it takes a few chapters for me to say whether I’m interested enough to finish it, but from the first line I was committed. The characters were interesting and three dimensional, the plot was compelling and well-paced, and it was generally well-written, if a bit vulgar (I say that more as a disclaimer than a criticism. Vulgarity doesn’t bother me but there’s a lot of dick jokes and more than a few f-bombs so head’s up, in case that’s not your thing).

One of the best things about this book, other than the unique premise, is how much it subverts the reader’s expectations. Unlike The Invisible Library where I saw every twist coming with an overwrought twirl of the villain’s mustache, The Unnoticeables tells you what’s about to happen and then pulls the rug out from under you. For example, when the main character and his friends are about the engage in a high speed motorcycle chase, the severity and urgency of this moment is wholly ruined but the fact that he can’t actually operate the bike and they end up sort of chugging along after their target. This sort of bait-and-switch storytelling is so much more compelling to me than the paint-by-numbers style of writing.

To make matters even better, the book is funny. As in, I laughed out loud several times, funny. Robert Brockway uses this humour to subvert a lot of the seriousness of the novel but not in a way that gets annoying. You know how, in movies/TV, the characters are a little too funny, a little too witty? We all know no one talks like that in real life. Or how every situation is super serious… JOKE. Serious… JOKE. Over and over and over. This is not the case in The Unnoticeables. Brockway knows when to undercut the scene or dialogue with humour, but he also knows when not to; when to let the characters react the way you would expect them to, or when to let every gruesome, terrifying moment of a scene play out.

Random tangent: without giving any spoilers, one of the antagonists is very obviously based on an 90s heartthrob. I am embarrassed to admit how long it took me to realize exactly who it is but when I did, I almost cried laughing.

The best review I can give this book is to tell you that I was ordering the sequel before I finished the first one. This book is strange, intense, and hilarious and you should read it. 🙂

Week 4: The Unnoticeables, We Are Never Meeting in Real Life, and The Power of Habit

Holy aggressively yellow book covers, Batman!

The Unnoticeables, Robert Brockway: I was so looking forward to this book last week but I just couldn’t get to it. As soon as I hit “publish” on this post, I am going to get comfy and start reading this!

We Are Never Meeting in Real Life, Samantha Irby: I have been thinking about getting this book for a while. I probably would have bought it for the title and cover alone, but then a fellow bibliomaniac recommended it. Also, looking at the cover again, there are endorsement quotes from both Roxane Gay and Lindy West. What the hell took me so long to get on board here?

The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg: I have a ton of habits that I’d like to change. I want to read faster, I want to spend less time screwing around on the internet, I want to be more productive, et cetera, et cetera. I’m hoping this book will help me understand how habits are formed and how to change them so I can develop more effective, healthy ones. I’m reading this one in audio format because I promised people handmade gifts for Christmas (mainly knit socks) and I still haven’t finished them, so audio means I can multitask. Man, it’s almost February; this is ridiculous. Another habit for the list: start making Christmas presents in June, not October.

Housekeeping: I am thinking of buying a book stand so I can read print books while knitting. Any recommendations? If you have one you like, I would love to hear where you got it. 🙂

Review: Sex Object, Jessica Valenti

I am the sort of person that can read a book, cover to cover, without damaging it. I do not dog-ear pages, I always tuck my book carefully into my bag, and I NEVER break spines. Everyone I know thinks this behaviour diminishes my enjoyment of a book because I’m too worried about putting a mark on it, but that’s not the case at all. I’m sure you will understand the gravity of the situation when I tell you that I accidentally banged the hell out of Sex Object. I was getting in the car and my bag got caught between the seat and a box and bent the crap out of the bottom of the cover. You want to know what diminishes my enjoyment of a book? Looking at the easily avoidable damage every time I pick it up. I’m sorry, book; I promise to fix you as best I can!

TL;DR, spoiler-free review: More biography than social commentary. Not a problem with the book, just not what I was expecting. Looking for biography? Read this. Looking for social commentary? Read Bad Feminist.

You’re-verbose-and-I-like-it review: The reviews I read for Sex Object, as well as the back of the book, told me it would explore “the toll that sexism takes on women’s lives, from the everyday to the existential.” This concept is why I bought the book. Unfortunately, I feel like it didn’t quite deliver. I knew it was a memoir but I feel like the social commentary fell to the wayside, especially in the last half of the book. That’s not a failing with the book but rather with how it was marketed.

While this book did not have an impact on me in the same way that something like The Beauty Myth did, I would still recommend it because of how Jessica Valenti speaks frankly about things women experience. For example, she talks about having multiple abortions and the difference between how she is supposed to feel and what she’s really thinking. She talks about having sex with men she’s not really interested in and why. She talks about pregnancy and motherhood and how she doesn’t feel the way women should feel after experiencing the miracle of life. It’s all very candid and I think that is absolutely necessary in feminist discourse. My issue is that I thought she would lend her experiences to the larger commentary and that never really happens.

Random musing: Most of the feminist books I’ve read lately make mention of militant feminists: women who tell you that you’re not doing feminism right. Roxane Gay talks about being intimidated by the sisterhood and Jessica Valenti talks about being relieved of her position at a website she founded when she got pregnant. Does anyone know any of these sorts of feminists? I feel like I hear about them a lot but I don’t know any of their names. I’d like to. I’d like to read a book by one of them. If you know of a feminist that would be described as “militant”, please comment below.

Review: The Invisible Library, Genevieve Cogman

This three-books-a-week deal is kicking my ass! I’ve always been a terrible procrastinator; on Monday, I think, “oh I have TONS of time,” but come Thursday, I’m ignoring everyone I know (including, no, especially the man I live with) and “going to bed” at 7pm so I can read. In fact, I should probably stop writing right now so I can go read. 😉

TL;DR, spoiler-free review: an uncomfortable mess of literary tropes and clichés that aren’t subverted in any interesting or unique ways. Like a bad soap opera, it’s unnecessarily complicated and silly.

You’re-verbose-and-I-like-it review: This book was so all over the place that I am scatterbrained trying to write about it. I feel like the author had too many ideas and didn’t know when to stop (for the following, please read in Bill Hader’s Stefon voice). This book has everything: vampires, a Sherlock Holmes rip off, robot alligators, and don’t worry, we didn’t forget, full body skin removal.

Seriously though (you should probably stop thinking in that voice), I feel like Genevieve Cogman couldn’t decide which ideas to include so she kept everything. It’s unfortunate because I feel like there are some good ideas here but it comes off as a bunch of mishandled tropes and clichés with nothing original to hold it together. Almost every character has a secret identity or motive, there’s like, six secret societies, and who is controlling the robot centipede again? One of the secondary antagonists embodies every vaudevillian behaviour except the moustache twirl. It’s all just so convoluted that I don’t want to bother keeping up.

The problem with stories that have way too much going on is that it becomes difficult to move from set piece to plot point. In this case, that results in deus ex machina EVERYTHING. For example, toward the end of the book, the main characters end up on a zeppelin and in need of weapons and Sherlo – I mean, Vale – just happens to know where guns are stored on the airship. There’s a flimsy excuse as to how he knows that but it’s a testament to how ridiculous this book is that I’m too bored to bother giving a real spoiler.

Those good ideas I mentioned are, unfortunately, being buried in a book that is always trying to be clever, and fails. For example, instead of just writing a Sherlock clone, Cogman actually comments on the fact that Vale is so much like the Great Detective. Also, instead of a bit more world building, the presence of supernatural creatures is written off by the dimension being corrupted with “chaos.” Rather than thinking a particular plot point was interesting or a misdirect was clever, I was so ready for this book to be over that I responded to every development in the last 75 pages with a verbal shrug: “ok, sure.”

I feel like I should probably circle back to that skin removal comment from earlier. I won’t go into detail because it’s actually pretty gruesome. It should tell you how nuts this book is when I tell you, after running down the basic plot to my friend, he responded with, “removing another human being’s skin sounds like the least crazy part of this plan.”

Weird, tangential complaint: the spacing of the font changes CONSTANTLY. Publishers do this for a variety of reasons (usually to fit words onto individual lines better) but it doesn’t usually happen in such a way that the reader sees it, let alone gets annoyed by it.

In conclusion, the story was a confusing collection of clichés, the font spacing was frustrating in its fluctuation, and I became bored of being browbeaten with banality.

For quirky science fiction/fantasy, read instead: Gods Behaving Badly, Marie Phillips or The Humans, Matt Haig.

Week 3: The Invisible Library, Sex Object, and The Unnoticeables

I’m so excited for this week’s reading! I’m looking forward to some more science fiction, especially since the last one I read was disappointing. I’m also keen to read another memoir, which is a genre I’ve only recently come to enjoy. And so, without further ado, I present: Week 3! *dramatic arm flourish followed by self-deprecating eye roll*

The Invisible Library, Genevieve Cogman: a sci-fi about a spy who works for the Library (don’t know what that means yet) and has to travel to what sounds like an alternate dimension to retrieve a dangerous book. Basically, I want to read a book about books for my book blog. 😀

Sex Object, Jessica Valenti: continuing with the feminist theme of the last two weeks, I’m keen to read this book because the blurb says it “explores the toll that sexism takes on women’s lives.” The books I’ve read lately consider the larger Women’s Movement or feminism in pop culture; I’m interested in narrowing that view down into one woman’s story.

The Unnoticeables, Robert Brockway: written by one of the editors at Cracked, this book is set in 70s New York. Angels are real, but they aren’t benevolent. The premise sounds cool so I’m interested, even more so since Cracked disabled their YouTube channel by laying off all their best writers and personalities. I imagine books and Twitter is how I’ll absorb content from them now.

Housekeeping: I’m going to start including a new section at the end of book reviews creatively and ingeniously called “Read also.” I may not do this with every book but when I think of something similar or related that I think is worthwhile, I’ll let you know. 🙂

Review: Bad Feminist, Roxane Gay

TL;DR spoiler-free review: a collection of essays analyzing (pop) culture and what it means to be a feminist. Roxane Gay is insightful, funny, and brutally honest. Read also: Hunger.

You’re-verbose-and-I-like-it review: I think the best compliment I could give an author is to say that reading their book makes me want to seek out more of their work. I read Roxane Gay’s Hunger last year, which led me to Bad Feminist, which will soon lead me to one of her novels.

Writing style is something to which I always pay attention because it can give the reader a lot of insight. For example, Gay occasionally writes in short blunt sentences, which I find works well to convey her frustration. She also has this interesting way of doubling back on herself to emphasize her point. Consider the following from the chapter, “How to Be Friends with Another Woman”:

Don’t flirt, have sex, or engage in emotional affairs with your friends’ significant others. This shouldn’t need to be said, but it needs to be said. That significant other is an asshole, and you don’t want to be involved with an asshole who’s used goods. If you want to be with an asshole, get a fresh asshole of your very own. They are abundant.

It is obvious, toward the end of the paragraph, that she’s frustrated, not only because this has to be said, but also because there is an abundance of assholes with which to deal. I chose this quote because it is an excellent example of how she repeats herself, but not in a redundant way. “This shouldn’t need to be said, but it needs to be said” is a poetic way of saying “things should be one way but they are another.” This stylistic choice shows up a bit in this book and a lot in Hunger and I find it so compelling how she is able to say two things while using the words to say only one.

These essays were written for a variety of sources over time and later compiled into Bad Feminist. Structurally, Gay gathers her articles under several subject headings (Gender & Sexuality, Race & Entertainment, Politics, Gender & Race, and Me). I’m always a bit torn on compilations like this. On one hand, I like that the essays are relatively short and give me a brief look into her opinion on an array of issues, but on the other hand, I would have really enjoyed a deep dive into a few specific topics. Regardless, I enjoyed this book because she is always insightful, her wit is razor-sharp, and her humour is my kind of dry.

What stays with me most is the concept of what it means to be a feminist. Gay says that she used to believe that feminists were man-hating. bra-burning, sexless, angry women and turned away from the label because she didn’t want to be identified with those characteristics. This is such a clever trick of the patriarchy; turn the movement meant to liberate women against them. Gay goes on to say things like “Pink is my favorite color”, “I read Vogue, and I’m not doing it ironically”, and “I know nothing about cars.” Do these things make her a bad feminist? Lately I have wondered what kind of feminist I am. I do not participate in community events and I have never been to a protest. This is not to say that I never would or that I am unwilling, I’ve just never sought out those opportunities. I read a lot and I have opinions. I suppose I’m a feminist but I’m not an activist. Can I be the former without being the latter? Gay says “the idea of a sisterhood menaces me, quietly, reminding me of how bad a feminist I am.” Perhaps this is another trick that we are about to fall for; if women don’t identify as feminists because they think they aren’t good enough, or they think other feminists with judge them, then they will not add their voice to the cause. Divided, we are weak, sort of thing.

All this self-reflection is to say that Roxane Gay brought me to the conclusion that she herself landed on: “I would rather be a bad feminist than no feminist at all.”

Review: The Hate U Give, Angie Thomas

I have always been an avid reader. In most cases, I prefer the company of bound pages to people. As a teenager, I spent a lot of time reading fantasy and science fiction (#realvampiresdontsparkle). It was only when I went to university that I, book list in hand, would explore other perspectives than that of the white straight male protagonist. When I finished school, I took a long break from reading. With no more book lists, I could read whatever, whenever I wanted. Unfortunately, this resulted in a return to old form, and while I didn’t read that much for a few years, what I did read was largely science fiction or fantasy.

In the last few years, it has become increasingly important that I be better informed on politics, culture, and social movements. I began reading a lot of non-fiction, in which I, historically, have never really been interested. It is with this goal in mind, to be more knowledgeable, informed, and empathetic, that I have sought out books about different cultures, races, and ideologies. When I read the description of The Hate U Give, I was immediately interested and put it at the top of the To Be Read pile.

TL;DR, spoiler-free review: a well-told, heartbreaking, and compelling novel, The Hate U Give shares a perspective we don’t get from the media when young black men are killed by police; that of the eye-witness. Everyone should read this book, especially those who think the news gives you all the information you need.

You’re-verbose-and-I-like-it review: The English graduate in me tends to notice an author’s writing style, no matter what I’m reading. Angie Thomas’s writing is multi-layered and nuanced, expressing Starr’s struggle with how she presents herself at home versus at her predominantly white high school, how she communicates with her family versus how she speaks to the police. Thomas easily moves from a more formal style to a slang-heavy vernacular. This occasionally means a shift in tense, which usually is jarring but this, coupled with the shifts in style, works well to develop the same tension in the reader that is building in Starr.

Generally speaking, I appreciate the way Thomas creates her characters. She takes her time and allows them to grow organically throughout the story. With that said, some of the side characters are a little archetypal, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Violent thugs, overprotective brothers, and I’m-not-racist! white friends are necessary for a story like this because those sort of people actually exist. There’s also something rather meta to how she develops the character of Khalil, the boy who is murdered by a police officer. Starr and Khalil have been friends since childhood but had recently lost touch. After his death, Starr will learn many things about him that she has never known. In the same way the reader will learn about Starr and observe how she deals with this loss, so too will Starr learn about Khalil and the motives behind choices he made.

I wanted to read this book because of the perspective: an eye-witness in a police shooting. This is a point of view we rarely hear in the media when these tragedies gain international attention. What I was not expecting was how the book artfully plays with perspective, subverting what the reader thinks they know. In the big picture, we get Starr’s perspective of the shooting and what really happens, but later we learn the officer’s point of view and his skewed perception of events. In the smaller events of the story, we learn more about the characters, depending on what perspective we’re given. SPOILERS AHEAD IN 3… 2… 1… At first, we think Seven’s mother, Iesha, is generally a bad person. She certainly doesn’t deserve to get abused by King but she’s pretty selfish and doesn’t seem to care much for her kids. When she shows up uninvited to Seven’s birthday party, he lets her know how he really feels about her. But when Starr, Seven, and Chris go to King’s house to find DeVante, Iesha is able to extricate all of them and her two daughters from a bad situation, knowing she will bear the brunt of King’s rage later. Seeing what she did for them, Starr makes sure to explain to Seven that Iesha wasn’t trying to get rid of them but protecting her family in the only way she could. Another example of this perspective shift is when Chris finds himself in the middle of a riot of black people, after the grand jury’s indictment decision is announced. Chris realizes he is the only white person present and asks Starr and Seven, “is this how you feel at school?” Similar to how it is important that Seven see his mother for the flawed protector she really is, it is critical for Chris, if he wants to understand and empathize with Starr, to experience, in some small way, what she experiences on a daily basis.

The Hate U Give was heartbreaking. It was sad, it was funny, and it was genuine. It was a pretty quick read, it had a bunch of slang I had to Google, and I strongly recommend you read it.

Also, if you have any recommendations of books like this, or books with a perspective not your own that you found informative or compelling, I’d love to hear them!

Review: The Beauty Myth, Naomi Wolf

When I was in university, my Sociology professor asked the class who considered themselves a feminist. Few hands rose. He then asked, “Who believes women deserve equal pay for equal work?” Most, if not all, hands went up. “Who believes women deserve the right to vote?” Again, all hands up. “Then you are all feminists,” he said.

Since that day, I have used his tactic with many people, from friends to family members to my boyfriend. We are all feminists, or at least, you damn-well should be.

TL;DR, spoiler-free review: Originally published in the 90s, this is fundamentally essential reading. If witnessing injustice toward women upsets you, you are not mad enough. The Beauty Myth is a diagnosis of a sick culture and a prescription for what to do about it.

You’re-verbose-and-I-like-it review: Read this book. Read every page. Then give it to a friend. It’s one of those books that you can put down but it will never leave you.

Naomi Wolf examines the women’s movements throughout history by breaking the book into topics (ex: Work, Sex, Religion, etc). This structure made these broad issues more digestible, as I would read a chapter and then take some time to consider what I’d learned. Her writing is impassioned, urgent, and well sourced. With each new subject, she looks into the face of what’s wrong, what is rotting in our culture, and says, “Look at this, do not divert your eyes. We have to do something.”

I was expecting to make some concise points from the notes I took while reading this book, but I have too many notes. The longer I consider what to write, the more I realize there is something I must say: I am angry. I am infuriated by the information I have gained from this book. I had a broad and unformed understanding that the fight for women’s rights is far from over but The Beauty Myth has enlightened me as to how much work there really is to do.

So here is a (heavily paraphrased) list of what I learned that really pisses me off:

• After the first wave of feminism, male-dominated culture had to find new ways to oppress women. Women could keep their jobs, but they must never be relieved of the task of maintaining the home and family. When it became apparent that women could take this in stride, a third shift was added: “Ok fine, ladies, have your job and take care of your families, but you better look good doing it.” Beauty is like a tax on women; not only do women continue to make lower wages than men, but they must also pay for an insane array of cosmetic products, clothes, and often painful, invasive plastic surgery so they can strive for an unattainable beauty standard.
• Consider what would happen if society attempted to control men’s sexual behaviour in the same way it controls that of women. In the book, Wolf suggests we consider chemical castration for prisoners. This would, undoubtedly, be seen as barbaric. And yet, according to a quick Google search, 62% of reproductive-aged American women are currently taking birth control which, I did not know, can lower a women’s sex drive. This frustrates me even more when you consider that birth control options for men would never include a daily pill to forget half the time, but rather only a tube of latex that a bunch of them complain about anyway.
• I’m a huge pop culture junkie which means I watch a lot of movies, TV, and YouTube. A pervasive trope, especially in the 90s, is the reluctant woman who is “wooed” into submission but her admirer. Imagine the scene: the guy has expressed his interest and has been spurned, but he knows she’s just playing hard-to-get. He knows what she really wants. So he kisses her. She fights him off, maybe even slaps him, and he kisses her again. They break apart again… only for her to jump his bones. Pop culture reflects the larger zeitgeist and so it is clear that tropes like these have taught generations of men that a) women will refuse sexual advances even when that’s exactly what they want, b) men know what women want better than women know themselves, and c) women like it rough. Our culture, essentially, has normalized rape to the point that some rapists don’t think what they’ve done is rape. According to The Beauty Myth, “date rape, thus, is more common than left handedness, alcoholism, and heart attacks.” I am disgusted.
• I always feel like I’m being judged or compared to other women in public, be they my friends or complete strangers. I’d bet you know the feeling; eyes on you because you ran to the grocery store in sweats, or the guy you used to date telling you he thinks you’re best friend is hot. The worst is when I’m just walking in the street and people deliberately run into me. There’s a whole sidewalk for us to share but our collision was unavoidable, apparently. Is it because I’m fat; are you telling me I’m taking up too much space? Are you using this small act of aggression to let me know you don’t approve of a woman who looks like me? Our culture has decided that women don’t get the space they need to just exist and, even worse, women will always be in competition with each other for what little space there is.

The book ends with a clear call-to-action about the work needed to right the ship. I’m sure, when my anger dissipates, I will find the strength to do some of the things she suggests. For now though, I’m just tired. Tired but resolved. As is the case in all civil rights movements, one group does not have to give up rights for another to gain them. Men need to be our allies in the fight for equality, but before we get them on our side, women have to be on the same page. Wolf challenges women not to use the beauty myth against each other, to celebrate our womanhood together, and to no longer see each other as adversaries. I am angry that I have had to fight men for my rights. I am incensed that I ever thought I had to compete with other women.