I am the sort of person that can read a book, cover to cover, without damaging it. I do not dog-ear pages, I always tuck my book carefully into my bag, and I NEVER break spines. Everyone I know thinks this behaviour diminishes my enjoyment of a book because I’m too worried about putting a mark on it, but that’s not the case at all. I’m sure you will understand the gravity of the situation when I tell you that I accidentally banged the hell out of Sex Object. I was getting in the car and my bag got caught between the seat and a box and bent the crap out of the bottom of the cover. You want to know what diminishes my enjoyment of a book? Looking at the easily avoidable damage every time I pick it up. I’m sorry, book; I promise to fix you as best I can!
TL;DR, spoiler-free review: More biography than social commentary. Not a problem with the book, just not what I was expecting. Looking for biography? Read this. Looking for social commentary? Read Bad Feminist.
You’re-verbose-and-I-like-it review: The reviews I read for Sex Object, as well as the back of the book, told me it would explore “the toll that sexism takes on women’s lives, from the everyday to the existential.” This concept is why I bought the book. Unfortunately, I feel like it didn’t quite deliver. I knew it was a memoir but I feel like the social commentary fell to the wayside, especially in the last half of the book. That’s not a failing with the book but rather with how it was marketed.
While this book did not have an impact on me in the same way that something like The Beauty Myth did, I would still recommend it because of how Jessica Valenti speaks frankly about things women experience. For example, she talks about having multiple abortions and the difference between how she is supposed to feel and what she’s really thinking. She talks about having sex with men she’s not really interested in and why. She talks about pregnancy and motherhood and how she doesn’t feel the way women should feel after experiencing the miracle of life. It’s all very candid and I think that is absolutely necessary in feminist discourse. My issue is that I thought she would lend her experiences to the larger commentary and that never really happens.
Random musing: Most of the feminist books I’ve read lately make mention of militant feminists: women who tell you that you’re not doing feminism right. Roxane Gay talks about being intimidated by the sisterhood and Jessica Valenti talks about being relieved of her position at a website she founded when she got pregnant. Does anyone know any of these sorts of feminists? I feel like I hear about them a lot but I don’t know any of their names. I’d like to. I’d like to read a book by one of them. If you know of a feminist that would be described as “militant”, please comment below.